Now & Then, 8/13/2026

A friend of mine lost her mother recently. She is an only child. She shared with me what a difficult time she is having going through her late mother’s belongings. She said she goes to her mom’s home, but breaks down and cries when she handles her things. I told her that her feelings are not unusual. When my mother passed away I wrote about the difficulty I had. She hadn’t seen my article, so I told her I would share it again. So, I am dedicating this article to all those who have lost a loved one and are left dealing with memories of their loved ones.
You would have liked my mom if you had known her. She was the best! She didn’t mince her words, she spoke her mind, but in a somewhat comical way. Mother didn’t have an easy life. Her father died when she was only 12 years old. She was the oldest of six children. She had to quit school to take care of her siblings so her mother could work and provide for the family.
Mother became a widow at only 53 years old. With my younger brother still in high school, it was not easy for her, yet she never complained. Money was tight. I was married but we had children and no extra money to help her. But mother was frugal and she knew how to stretch a dollar.
We all have things that are private to us, and she did too. Her purse was off limits, we were not allowed to open it. We all respected that. Mom always kept Chiclets in it, and even as an adult, I would take her purse to her so she could give me one.
When my mother passed away, as the only daughter, I was given her purse. I placed it on my dresser where it remained for a very long time. Many months later, memories of her were on my mind more than ever. I guess I needed to feel her presence, so one day I decided it was time for me to open her purse. I suggested to my hubby that he might want to go out to our land in Wescott to do some mowing. He readily agreed. I really wanted to be alone. I felt nervous and unsure of my emotions.
Mom enjoyed an occasional Old-Fashioned, so I decided to make myself one. I went upstairs and got her purse and headed to our family room, drink and purse in hand. For those of you who are cat lovers, you know how perceptive cats can be. Mittens usually sleeps in the afternoon, but she came and placed her head on my lap. She was a comfort.
As I slowly opened my mother’s purse. I cannot explain to you the feeling of calm that overcame me. I could hear her say, “It’s OK Lorna, you have my permission.”
As I gently took each item out of her purse, the memories flowed and so did my tears. I could feel her presence. I won’t share what was in her purse because I still respect her privacy. But I will tell you, little things that were in her purse might seem worthless to some, but to me they mean the world.
I am glad I waited for the right time. I still have not opened her wallet. She usually didn’t carry a great deal of money, but whatever is in her wallet will remain there until I have the right mindset to open it.
I am the daughter of a woman who carried invisible battles with quiet strength. Even when her heart was heavy, she kept moving forward with love in her heart. Whenever I question my worth, I remember her bravery runs in my veins. Her resilience became my foundation, her courage my compass, and her unconditional love the fire that keeps me alive. From her, I learned that even in the darkest seasons, a mom’s love never fades.