Now & Then, 06/25/26

Those of you who have lost a loved one know how difficult it is. Hubby and I recently lost his only sibling, his sister Dawn, and we also lost a dear cousin of mine, Lynn.
Thank you to all who sent their condolences and also for the many words of sympathy and acts of kindness.
We also found another source of daily comfort. Many of you know we lost our beloved cat Mittens. We decided we wouldn’t get another cat…so we got two. We found Joy’s Place had two beautiful and lonely cats. Once we saw them, we knew they were coming home with us. No one knew their names, so after much deliberation, we named the sisters Maggie and Sissy.
Sissy had a difficult time adjusting to a new home. She ran and hid when we came near her. With patience, we encouraged her to come join the family, and finally she did. Maggie follows hubby around, and Sissy seems to have put her trust in me.
They are so much fun to watch. They are so sweet when they clean one another’s face and ears. Sometimes it ends up in a fight if the cleaning becomes too much. They also run through the house at top speed twice a day; early morning and before bed. I guess it is to get their exercise. I am so afraid they will hurt themselves, as they run up and down the couch, up onto their cat tree, and even up on our fireplace. Hubby tells me they will be fine, and so far they have been.
Our beautiful girls provided comfort during our grieving. They offered to us their quiet, non-judgmental companionship. We learned that studies and experts note that cats often become more affectionate and clingy when sensing sadness. We found that to be true.
As they sat by us, the soothing frequency of their purring was comforting. We learned that their purring can physically lower stress, reduce pressure, and calm a racing heart. With my recent bout with Afib, that was comforting to know.
With a cat by your side during sadness, they offer non-judgmental listening. They offer one a safe space to cry, talk out loud or simply sit in silence without expecting one to be strong or to move on.
The daily routines of feeding and caring for the cats forced us to maintain a daily rhythm when we really just felt like sitting around doing nothing.
Cats may not understand grief, but they definitely understand sadness and a need for comfort. Maggie stayed with hubby almost constantly. She followed him to the basement and even stood outside our bathroom door while he showered. Sissy rubbed up against my legs and often jumped up to lay on my lap.
Losing a loved one is one of life’s most heart-wrenching and stressful experiences. Grief often comes in waves. It can be triggered by a certain song, a special date or a meaningful place. I have learned from past losses that the intensity of these waves lessen, but the sense of loss for our loved ones never truly disappears.
There is no specific timeline for how long grief will last. Some people may grieve for days, weeks or months. Some longer.  Grief is often associated with tears, but not everyone will cry, and that is perfectly normal. The absence of tears doesn’t diminish the depth of feeling or the love you have for the person you lost.
Grieving can feel overwhelming, but knowing others care is so helpful. It is important to give ourselves grace, knowing that the despair won’t last forever is helpful.
For those who are without faith, when a person breathes their last breath, their life is over. For those of us who have faith, we believe when a person takes their last breath here on earth, their soul leaves their body and joins their Heavenly Father.
Jesus, You said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted,” (Matthew 5:4)  We, along with others, are mourning. Send us Your comfort. Wrap Your arms around us and hold us tight. Send angels of mercy to us. Shower Your comfort to us through those around us.  Amen